Brad Wilcox in the Wall Street Journal on his new book “Get Married” – don’t buy into the soulmate myth.
    He warns that, a very modern self-centered soulmate based understanding of marriage has served to weaken this central institution of human society. He’s also blunt in stating this, “Men and women who buy into the soulmate model appear more likely to end up divorced.” He makes a moral statement that Christians should especially understand when he writes this, that the more “subtle psychological truth is that the soulmate model fails to see that happiness in life and in love is less likely to be found when we pursue it directly.” That is also a matter of the Christian worldview. First of all, that happiness is nowhere near as precious as joy, and happiness is often found among those who aren’t trying their very best in their own self-centered way to find happiness, but are rather fulfilling their obligations even in marriage and in the family. And in those obligations, they find true happiness and true joy.
    
    Here’s what he writes. “The husband and father who sets aside his work, smartphone and ESPN in the evenings to help with homework, shoot hoops, and tuck the kids in bed will likely take greater satisfaction from his family life, than if he had pursued his own pleasures of the moment, and he will likely elicit more admiration, affection, and ardor from his wife as a natural response. Family first, me second. This is the paradoxical root to happiness in marriage.” He writes.
    
Treat yourself vs biblical self care
    ○ What’s the appropriate balance between an appropriate taking care of yourself to honor God’s image in you and be capable of serving others.
    ○ Marriage is a refiners fire
    ○ In Kenya they sit around and they laugh
        ○ Do you delight in the wife of your youth
        ○ Delight is the primary driver of attachment
        ○ Delight is Erik’s favorite word
            § It’s a sense of “I feel good about you”