“ “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””
— Jesus (MT 11 CSB)
We had a multi-prong discussion this past Friday that I would say mainly revolved around how we, as men, find rest for our souls.
Putting the Previous Week into Practice
Turns out there was such a wide ranging discussion last week that the team forgot to come up with a concrete practice for the week.
Boiling down what it could have been seemed to be: “Look for something this week when you are drawn toward taking the selfish thing and choose the harder thing, the path of sacrificial love”.
We took this as a practical step for this week as well.
“Manhood is the joyful pursuit of sacrificial responsibility.”
—Jon Tyson
Sacrifice and Rest
The problem with sacrifice is that it’s really hard to sacrifice when you are tired. Most of the men in the room resonated with the idea that when they wanted to “relax” they found drawn to things that didn’t necessarily give rest. None of these are necessarily bad, but are they the best?
Things we turn to for rest:
- YouTube
- TV
- Food
- Avoidance
- Audiobooks
- Books
- Podcasts
What was the answer we came back to? Whether we are receiving the rest for our souls from Christ.
“You will be delivered by returning and resting;
-God (Is 40)
your strength will lie in quiet confidence.
But you are not willing.”
To be honest, we are weak, and it’s hard to keep giving when you are tired and you have no reserves, and it sounds counter-intuitive as a man to take the time to get away, to practice solitude and silence, to go on a long walk (no headphones, no phone at all, just being present), to sit and meditate and memorize scripture….to not achieve.
We are taught that we have to keep doing and keep checking boxes to get things done. This is based on a false belief…the belief that everything relies on us.
The Practice of Solitude and Silence
What the heck is solitude and silence?
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
Ps 42
Honestly, don’t knock it till you try it. I went on a retreat last year at St. Francis Springs Prayer Center and went and sat in a gazebo for over 2 hours (I took a nap for some of the time). This is what it looked like:
The goal was to do….ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And I was going to speak…ABOLUTELY NOTHING. Not even pray. Not even read the Bible. Just…exist and realize that I’m not in charge of the universe and that my whole life has been, continues to be, and will be forever a gift.
I spent a whole day by myself and returned home to my family. The amount of inner peace and joy that naturally and effortlessly came out of me astounded me. I felt like a completely different person.
I crave Sabbath: Solitude, Silence, and Fasting now. I naturally am able to keep more and more of God’s commands because I’ve done nothing but relied on Him to change me by quietly trusting and mediating on his word day and night.
Here is a blog post quote from Dallas Willard that says it better than I can:
SOLITUDE
For most of us, Sabbath will not become possible without extensive, regular practice of solitude. That is, we must practice time alone, out of contact with others, in a comfortable setting outdoors or indoors, doing no work. We must not take our work with us, even in the form of bible study, prayer or sermon preparation, for then we will not be alone. An afternoon walking by a stream or on the beach, in the mountains, or sitting in a comfortable room or yard, is a good way to start. This should become a weekly practice. Then perhaps a day, or a day and a night, in a retreat center where we can be alone. Then perhaps a weekend or a week, as wisdom dictates.
This will be pretty scary for most of us. But we must not try to get God to “do something” to fill up our time. That will only throw us back into work. The command is: “Do no work.” Just make space. Attend to what is around you. Learn that you don’t have to do to be. Accept the grace of doing nothing. Stay with it until you stop jerking and squirming.
Solitude well practiced will break the power of busyness, haste, isolation and loneliness. You will see that the world is not on your shoulders after all. You will find yourself and God will find you in new ways. Joy and peace will begin to bubble up within you and arrive from things and events around you. Praise and prayer will come to you and from within you. The soul anchor established in solitude will remain solid when you return to your ordinary life with others.
SILENCE
Silence also brings Sabbath to you. Silence means quietness, freedom from sounds except natural ones like breathing, bird songs and wind and water moving. It also means not talking. Silence completes solitude, for without it you cannot be alone.
— Dallas Willard (Link Here)
Conclusion
Sabbath (Solitude, Silence, and Fasting) in a combination with Meditation and Memorization of Scripture (See Ps 1 and Joshua 1) give us the strength to enable us to be sacrificially loving. Being loving isn’t a natural thing, it’s a gift of grace that comes from God. By giving ourselves the proper rest by focusing the proper place of strength (God), we are better able to love our children.
We also learn to let God be our safe place, and our children find us to be a safe place because of it.
Putting It Into Practice For Next Week
- 60 minute unplugged Solo Trip not connected to action or doing.
- Look for something this week when you are drawn toward taking the selfish thing and choose the harder thing, the path of sacrificial love.
Trinity Dad's Coffee 
Leave a comment