On a Phone Based Childhood vs a Play Based Childhood

Phone based childhood is Embodied, synchronous, one to one or one to a few, hard to join and hard to leave. It creates addiction. It is an “experience blocker.”

Play based childhood is Outdoors, unstructured, loose parts, some risk to discover your limits. It’s minecraft in real life. It allows your children to learn what their limits are and get stronger by interacting with the real world and knowing what they can do. This plummeted after 2010

Question: what’s this look like for your kids? Do you see your kids experiencing both?
 
Question: what can you do to move your kids away from a phone based childhood and toward a play based childhood?
 
 
Question: do you see any of these in your kids?
 
Question: what has worked in your home to point your kids to something better than screens?
 
Question: what can you do to make adjustments?
 
Discover Mode and the Need for Risky Play
Discover mode for approaching opportunities
Defend mode

Social deprivation – face to face time with friends dropped from 122m/day in 2012 to 67m/day in 2016

Sleep deprivation – less quality/quantity.

Attention fragmentation – stay on one mental road while many off ramps beckon. Notifications distract

Four Foundational Harms

Four foundational harms.

1. Social deprivation – face to face time with friends dropped from 122m/day in 2012 to 67m/day in 2016

2. Sleep deprivation – less quality/quantity.

3. Attention fragmentation – stay on one mental road while many off ramps beckon. Notifications distract

4. Addiction – social media

Dopamine is pleasurable but not satisfying – you just want more.

Question: do you see any of these in your kids? 

Question: what has worked in your home to point your kids to something better than screens? 

Question: what can you do to make adjustments?

What is the Opportunity Cost?

Any time on a screen is an experience blocker. Teenagers are reported to be on screens 7 hours a day now. How much of this time is removing an opportunity to interact in the real world?

Things That Intentional Fathers Do

After Sports/Band/Performing:

I really enjoyed watching you play! No critique of the performance. No need to really instruct them.

Add Children to what we are doing:

We can either efficiently do the job or we can help our children do it and account for the extra time. How do we allow for gains as children?

Other Ways To Engage In Real Life

Have a list of activities on the board for kids to pick off and do.

Have board games and card games accessible for the family to play together.

Turn the TV off and force yourself and kids to figure out something else to fill the time with.

Book Reference

Digital Detox – Molly Defrank

Bible Reference

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

-Deut 6:4-9