Nov 15th – Trinity Dads

This past friday we had a wonderful guest speaker who has two boys in college This are notes from our meeting, blog style.

As Christian fathers, our greatest calling and challenge is to raise children who know, love, and serve Jesus Christ. We long for them to experience the unconditional love of God and our family, and to use their God-given gifts to bless others. However, navigating the complexities of Christian parenting in today’s world can feel overwhelming at times. As a father of two boys who have graduated from a Christian school, Tim has learned some valuable lessons along the way that he hopes will encourage and equip you in your own parenting journey. These are his words with some creativity from Claude.AI.

Developing a Family Mission Statement and Values

Intentions

• Raise children who know Christ and are loved by our family and God
• Ensure they know that nothing can separate them from that love
• Help them discover their God-given gifts and share them out of love with humanity
• Be connected as a family and have children who want to spend time together
• When grown, have children recognize that, while flawed as parents, we did our best, and they would appreciate the efforts
• As a couple, want to be together when the children grow up and leave home

Family Mission Statement

The foundation of raising Christ-centered children is intentionally creating a home environment that reflects and reinforces biblical values. A powerful way to do this is by developing a clear family mission statement and core values. In our family, we captured these in the acronym CHRIS F: Christ-centeredness, Health, Responsibility, Integrity, Service, and Freedom. By regularly communicating and living out these values, we provide a framework for our children to understand what it means to follow Jesus in everyday life.

Establishing Encouraging Routines and Rituals
In addition to defining your family values, it’s important to establish daily routines and rituals that encourage your children’s faith and emotional well-being. One simple but profound practice we’ve implemented is asking our kids each night: “Has anyone hurt you, broken a promise to you, or hurt your feelings today?” This opens the door for honest conversation and allows us to address any wounds or conflicts in a timely manner.

We also make it a priority to pray blessings over our children, such as the one found in Numbers 6:24-26: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” In the morning, we encourage them to “engage” at school by asking questions, listening well, and being a light for Christ. As they leave the house, we hug them and bless their “mind, body, and heart.” These consistent practices, however small they may seem, add up over time to shape our children’s identity and character.

Pursuing Accountability and Authenticity as Fathers

The Importance of Authentic, Accountable Relationships
As we seek to lead our families well, it’s crucial that we as fathers prioritize our own spiritual growth and accountability. We cannot impart to our children what we do not possess ourselves. For the past 30 years, I’ve had the privilege of meeting weekly with one or two close brothers in Christ to openly discuss our struggles, failings, and areas for growth. These authentic, accountable relationships have been a lifeline for my walk with God, marriage, and parenting.

FOCUSED FEW

One of the most transformative habits in my parenting journey has been committing to meet regularly with a “focused few” – 1-2 close brothers in Christ with whom I can share my life in raw, unfiltered honesty. For the past 30 years, I’ve gathered weekly with these men to openly discuss our struggles, weaknesses, fears and failings. No topic is off-limits, from personal insecurities to marital issues to secret sins.

The mutual vulnerability in this “circle of trust,” rooted in a shared pursuit of Christ, has been absolutely life-changing. It’s enabled me to bring my whole self – the good, bad and ugly – before God and others, and find grace, wisdom and strength for the journey. Though many men connect over “safe” topics like sports, work and hobbies, few take the risk of inviting others into the deep, messy parts of their inner world. But it’s precisely this type of authentic, accountable relationship that the Bible calls us to and that produces the most spiritual fruit.

I’m convinced that every father needs a “focused few” in his corner – men who know his unique struggles, speak truth into his life, and spur him on to be the spiritual leader his family needs. If you don’t currently have these relationships, let me encourage you to start praying for God to highlight a potential running partner or two. Then take the first courageous step in initiating those conversations, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Pursue consistency, confidentiality and Christ-centeredness. I promise, the fruit in your life and family will be worth the risk.

Tackling the Tough Stuff with Your Kids

Having Frank Discussions about Sensitive Topics
One of the most daunting aspects of parenting is navigating difficult conversations with our children, particularly as they enter the turbulent years of adolescence. It can be tempting to avoid topics like sexuality, substance abuse, and peer pressure, hoping that our kids will somehow absorb our values by osmosis. However, Scripture calls us to take a more proactive approach.

Proverbs 22:6 instructs, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This training includes having frank, age-appropriate discussions about the challenges and temptations they will face. It means creating a safe environment where they feel comfortable asking questions and expressing doubts. It requires vulnerability on our part, sharing our own struggles and failures, and modeling repentance and grace.

One of the most powerful things we can do as fathers is to keep short accounts with our kids, quickly apologizing and seeking forgiveness when we fall short. This demonstrates the gospel in action and teaches them that no one is perfect, but we are all in desperate need of God’s grace.

Leaning into the Lord as the Perfect Parent
Trusting God’s Grace and Power in Our Weaknesses
At the end of the day, the most important lesson I’ve learned as a father is to lean into the Lord, recognizing that He is the only perfect parent. Despite our best efforts, we will make mistakes, face challenges, and feel inadequate for the task at hand. But these weaknesses are actually opportunities for us to experience God’s grace and power in deeper ways.

As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” When we acknowledge our limitations and depend on God’s strength, we model for our children what it means to walk by faith.

Ultimately, our role as fathers is not to be perfect, but to faithfully point our kids to the One who is. We are called to be stewards, entrusting our children to the Lord and praying fervently for His wisdom, guidance, and protection over their lives. As Philippians 1:6 promises, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Conclusion
Raising children to follow Christ in a fallen world is not for the faint of heart. It requires intentionality, consistency, authenticity, and a whole lot of grace. But it is also one of the greatest privileges and joys we can experience as fathers. As we create Christ-centered homes, pursue accountability, tackle the tough stuff, and lean into the Lord, we can trust that our labor is not in vain.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 gives us this charge: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

So keep fighting the good fight, dads. Keep pressing into Jesus and pointing your kids to Him. Your faithfulness, even in the mundane moments, has eternal significance. May God give us the wisdom, strength, and grace we need for this incredible journey of fatherhood.