(This was a post from 2 years ago that was in “Draft” state). Thought I’d send it out since its a great practical tool.

The mountain range exercise was developed by Victor Frankel during his time in prison in Auschwitz. Discern the key people, moments and events that have defined your life. Add joyful or serendipitous events, new relationships or experiences, major goals or accomplishments, friends or family on the Joy side and place them from 1-10 based on intensity. Place the hardest and most painful moments you’ve experienced on the Pain side. These can be losses, disappointments, deaths or betrayals. These represent the valleys in your journey categorized from 1-10.

To go deeper ask yourself these questions:

• What happened? NAME IT
• What did you feel? EMBRACE IT
• How did you respond? OWN IT
• How did this shape you? UNDERSTAND IT
• What did you learn? EXTRACT IT
• How can you grow from this? USE IT

What to do with this exercise:

1. It helps parents reflect on their own life experiences and the defining moments that have shaped them. This self-awareness can then inform how they approach parenting and the traditions/rhythms they want to create for their family.
2. By charting the joys and pains in their life, parents can identify patterns or lessons they want to pass on to their children. This intentionality can help guide the family traditions and experiences they choose to prioritize.
3. Doing this exercise as a family could open up meaningful conversations with children about their own life experiences so far. This can foster deeper connections and help children feel understood.
4. Revisiting the “mountains and valleys” over time can show children how their parents’ lives have unfolded, modeling vulnerability and providing a framework for them to reflect on their own lives as they grow up.

The key is using this reflective exercise to be more intentional about the family culture, traditions, and lessons you want to impart to your children, rather than just doing activities without purpose. It’s about being thoughtful and creating an environment that nurtures their growth.